Illogical Joy From God Alone

Today was spent at a children’s prison – yes, a prison for kids.  An emotional roller coaster to say the least.

After a delicious breakfast at our hotel, our team was taken on an unforgettable and very humbling journey.

The first building that we visited was solitary confinement.  Children are put in a room with concrete floors, no bed, no blankets, no bathroom, no water, and minimal food.  They are locked in a room for two weeks, with the intention of breaking their spirits.  Fingers poked out of the grate at the top of a door as we walked past.  As I reached up and held this boy’s hand, I was overwhelmed at the horrible conditions this poor boy must endure.  Please God, you put the lonely in families.  Please give this boy joy.  Show him your love, and help him to no longer feel the pain of what he must face each day.

My team was next given a tour of the bunkhouse for the children.  Bunk beds fill the room; many without mosquito nets, the rest with gaping holes all over.  No child is safe.

Due to mass overflow, half of the children don’t even have legitimate beds.  A pile in the corner contains thin, spongy mattresses that they can pull down to sleep on at night.  All, of course, are torn; holes in places where sponge material used to be.

The final room of our tour was the home of the innocent children at the prison.  They were brought in from off the streets, all with their own story of how they came to be here.  The conditions of these blameless children seem to me much worse than that of the prisoners.  The children in this room do not come out.  A pile of torn mattresses lies in the corner, as did the other room, but there are no bunks, no mosquito nets.  A brick structure takes up another corner; so I’m told, they go to the bathroom back there.  The children are locked in this room; their only possessions are the clothes that were on their backs when they were taken in.

We spent the morning with these children, praising God for his mercy and forgiveness.  At one point, a few children raised their hands with questions… one asked for a pair of shorts… one asked for a Bible… one asked for us to pray over them.  Hearts were heavy.  God was ever-present.  These children have so much to be frustrated about.  They have almost nothing, but they still praise the Lord.  They don’t take anything out on God; but rather see Him as merciful and forgiving, thanking Him with hands lifted high.

Next, our team pulled out all of our donations.  A system was made to cycle the kids throughout the room, giving each a T-shirt, flip flops, a granola bar, a sucker, and a bracelet.  The smiles on those faces were as bright as the sun.

Our final few hours at the prison were spent just hanging out with the kids.  Many know quite a bit of English, and it was truly amazing to hear the stories of what they’ve gone through and where their faith lies.

I made friends, laughed, cried, was horrified, and saw things that will change my perspective on life forever.

God, thank you for these children.  Thank you for bringing them to you and giving them joy despite their circumstances.  I don’t know why you have them there, but you have certainly used their desolation to bring them to a place of passionately loving you.

Be with them tonight, and forevermore.  Continue to draw them close to you.  Help them to see that nothing brings peace and happiness like the love you freely give.  Give them a hope and a future.  Keep their dreams big, their hearts soft, and their smiles wide.

I love you, Jesus.  Thank you for your mercy and forgiveness and the joy that you bring. <3

Loving a Child

Well… I made it!  After over 24 hours of travel on those oh-so-comfortable plane seats (note HEAVY sarcasm), I am here in Uganda.  The past two days have been exhausting, physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Yesterday was hard.  Being so tired and achy, it was hard to see the beauty that God was building up towards.  God, thank you for giving me 2 Corinthians 12:9 last night.  Your power is made perfect in my weakness.  I despise being weak, but to know that You will use my weaknesses for your glory, makes things a lot better.  God, continue to bring me peace.  It hurts to think of not seeing my family again for three months, but I know that you can ease that pain.  Remind me that you are there; that you are the best parent ever.  Help me to see these fellow Christians as family, my family in You.  Use this time to build up my strength in You, as well as build up my personal independence level.

~~~~~~~~~

Today was AHH-MAZINGGG!  Ohmygoodness, God, thank you for today.

Today was beautiful.  A beautiful Sunday spent at Return Ministries International.  Our team started out the day with a church service like I’ve never seen.  Worship here in Uganda is such a beautiful thing.  There’s so much passion and joy in their singing, something that is not always so common in the typical American church.  Pastor Samuel preached from Psalm 68:5-6:

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.  God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

 Pastor Samuel talked about how orphans are not only those who are fatherless; those without God as their Father are also orphans.  He talked about the disintegration of families through “men wanting to be women, and women wanting to be men.”  He talked about the importance of family; how family and a relationship with God go hand-in-hand, and without God, and a father who gives glory to God, families fall apart.

After the service, we had time to play with the kids.  There are 15ish kids that live there at Return, but children from all of the community come to Return’s daily activities and programs.  These children are more desperate for love than any I have ever seen.  They come up to you and hold their arms up, asking you to hold them.  They give you hugs and kisses and cling to you from all sides.  After a while of greetings, I pulled out my nail polish and was quickly mobbed by several dozen kids, girls and boys, all wanting the attention and color of a fresh coat of pink paint.

Next was lunch.  Pastor Samuel asked us to serve the children their food, and we quickly got to work.  Workers stood at the front, behind huge vats of rice and beans.  We stood in line to receive plates, which we then passed out to the children.

After seeing the conditions in which the food was being served, truthfully, I wasn’t too crazy about our turn to get our plates.  However, that food was amazing.  Best plate of rice and beans ever. J

The last few hours of the day were spent singing and dancing with the kids.  First, they performed for us; singing, dancing, and playing the bongos.  It was beautiful.  Afterwards, they called us up to dance with them.  We sang and danced and even taught the kids a couple songs.

Leaving was a heart wrenching experience.  The kids all wanted hugs and pictures.  Olivia, a girl that was clung to my hip most of the time, was sad to see me go… I gave her a picture of me I had in my bag to remember me by.

Children chased our bus down the road for a good half mile, waving and yelling “BYE!” the whole way.  People waved to us on the streets, cracking jokes about us “muzungus."

It was a beautiful day.  Thank you, God for rejuvenating me with a good night’s sleep.  Thank you for renewed excitement and joy.  Thank you for giving me the peace that I’ve needed so much.  Thank you for children.  Thank you for being the Ultimate Father.  We may have a father figure, or none at all, but nothing compares to the love that you give.  Thank you for being a father to the fatherless and a protector of widows.  I pray for these children that we were able to love on today.  Give them your fathering love.  Put these lonely children in homes.

Thank you for teaching me so much today.  Giving so much love to these children was so surprisingly fulfilling.  Singing and dancing with the children, praising you with passion, I am overwhelmed with your works.  Thank you for drawing me near to You through these children.  Thank you for your amazing ways of bringing glory to you through the simplest things in life; like loving a child.

P.S. I reallllyyyy tried uploading pictures... but it's wayy too slow... hopefully later:/

Here I go!

Well, this is it.  The final countdown.  In twelve hours, I will be on my way to the airport, ready to embark on the journey that will change my life forever.

I will be posting as often as possible during these next 3 months.  Hopefully around once or twice a week.  Please keep me in your prayers.

As I wrote in my thank-you-for-your-support letters,

Pray that my heart will be prepared for what I am about to experience.

Pray that I will be able to effectively share the love and mercy of our Heavenly Daddy with the children in the orphanages that I visit.

Pray that I will depend always on the Lord, and that my relationship with Him will grow in ways that I could have never imagined.

And ultimately, pray that God will use me to bring Him glory in everything that I do.<3

I covet your prayers.  Thank you for them so much!  God has been teaching me so much in this preparation process, I cannot even imagine the beautiful things He will reveal to me through these undoubtfully challenging next few months. 

I thank God for you all, and pray that He uses you greatly in these next 3 months; strengthening your passion for Him through the challenges that you each and every day.<3

Here I go! :D