Nkwagala nyo!

Today is Tuesday.  I leave on Friday.  Only 2 more full days with the children that I've come to love so dearly.

I've come to love them all a lot more than I had ever expected.  Truthfully, 2 weeks ago, I saw most of these kids as just bickering troublemakers with snotty noses and wet diapers.  Now, God has definitely given me His heart for his children.  Lately, I've found myself jumping up to wipe off the snotty faces, or realizing when someone is about to wet themselves...helping them run to the bathroom to go "su-su" before it's too late.  The child that causes trouble just wants my attention, the one who barrels into me from across the room just wants some love.  They are all so beautiful; God's beautiful children.

Here at Amani I co-teach preschool with another volunteer.  I have come to love this so very much.  At nine o'clock am we ring the bell for preschool to start.  Our 9 students, and sometimes some extra toddlers that get swept up in the crowd, come running into the classroom with huge smiles and even more excitement.  We sing songs, read a Bible story, as well as a few other books, and then sit down for writing/coloring time.  We are currently on the letter L - like the "llllllla" in "Auntie Lydia".  Then we have snack time, and finally time to play games, write with chalk, or watch Veggie Tales on my laptop.

In the evenings, I have two hours of rotating activities.  Today is my "1 on 1".  I pick one child and spend two hours of special time with him. :) I'm thinking that tonight we might bake a cake:)

I am so in love here.  I have such mixed emotions.  I need to go home; school first.  And I do miss my family something terrible, but when there are so many kids here calling me "auntie"; so much love that needs to be shared, it pains me to think of leaving...

...I only have 2 more full days.

Thank you, God, for giving me a heart for what breaks yours.  Thank you for everything that you have taught me through this experience.  I feel in my heart that this is not the end.  Lord willing, I will come back.  And maybe, just maybe, one of these times coming back to the states, I'll be carrying a little one in my arms:)

Thank you so much for all of your prayers!  I will be needing them so much as I depart from my loved ones and make the long, tiresome journey home. 

Nkwagala nyo, nyo, nyo!<3

Coming home...

Okay. Well, here's the scoop. I haven't had internet for the last week and a half. As of last night, the internet has returned, but with how slow and unreliable it is, there is no possible way for me to expect to be able to do my online classes while here.  I have booked a flight back to America on August 19th. I've prayed and prayed about it, and this seems to be where the Lord is taking me. It's not what I expected, but I know that I have put it in His hands. He is leading me home for now. Thank you for all of your prayers! God is so good. He has been answering prayers and breaking me down to build me back up. He has taught me so much on this trip, and I still have another week of my time here! Please continue to keep me in your prayers! It is so encouraging to have so many people praying for me and giving me verses of encouragement! Please pray that I make the most of the rest of my time here. Pray that I never take a moment for granted and that I give every minute of it to the Lord. And finally, please pray for my travels back. This will be the farthest that I have ever flown alone, and I'm not looking forward to over 28 hours of flights:P Because of Jesus<3

Whatever you want, Lord

Whatever you want Lord, whatever you want.

I am a selfish, stubborn human being.  I am so sorry Lord for allowing my sinfulness to come in the way of my vision of following your will.  You, oh Lord, are my only hope.  When I begin to let worry and anxiety in, I begin to think that I need to take control.  My sin prevents me from seeing that you are still there; you are still waiting with arms wide open.

Thank you, God, for showing me how selfish I am this week.  My prayers have been bitter and afraid, showing my lacking of trust in You, God.

Thank you for the church.  Thank you for days when we, as Christians, can unite in one body, to hear what You have to say through Your people.  Today, I was reminded of your sovereignty.  I may think at times that you have left me alone in a strange land, but You are always there.  You are always in control.  Just as Jesus told Peter to go fishing and open the mouth of the first fish to find a coin, you not only know what is going to happen, but you make it happen.  You didn’t just know that the coin was going to be in that fish’s mouth, you put it there.

God, you didn’t just know that I was going to go to Uganda, you put me here.  I don’t know how long I’ll be here or how much struggling and learning I’ll do in that time, but I know that you are in control.  I may miss my family to no end, and I may not think that I can get internet signal to do my school work, but you are always in control.  You can and will provide for all of my needs.  From this point on, Lord, I put my trust in You and You alone.  I haven’t been doing that this week.  Instead, I’ve been worrying that things wouldn’t work out or that you won’t be here with me, using me.  I started to think that I must come home early; no matter if you have a plan for me here or not, I just can’t take it – please send me home.  But Lord, today You have brought me peace.  I don’t know at this point whether You’ll send me home early, or will bring back the internet (that has been gone for so many days now), so that I can do my school work when my online classes begin later this month.  But God, I put it in Your hands.  Either one will be difficult, but whatever the direction, I will know that I have lifted it up to You, and you have given me the answer that comes.

God, I love you so much.  I am sorry that I am so weak and sinful.  I thank you for the work that you have been doing in my life.  I thought that I would just come to tell people about You, but instead, You have worked in my life, changing me in so many ways.  Continue to teach me new things every day.  Continue to stretch me; in order to teach me more about You, and to make me more like You.  With every struggle that turns me to You, I grow in my strength and relationship with You.

God, I trust You.  I cannot do this on my own.  I don’t know Your plan, but I trust that no matter what, You will ultimately use me for Your glory.

I love you, Lord Jesus.

Whatever you want. <3

Updates From Your Muzungu :)

Hello from Uganda!

Sorry it’s been a while since my last blog post!  I haven’t had the best internet access these past few days.  Here’s a brief update! :)

On Thursday, we visited Amani Baby Cottage; my home for the next 2.5 months.  Seeing as I had no idea what to expect, I was quite encouraged.  Amani has approximately 60 kids, almost all 4 years and under.  Most of their parents have either died or have abandoned them.  Amani takes them in no matter their condition. 

It is run by an American woman, and because of that, it has American conveniences such as a toilet and internet. (THANK YOU GOD!) ;) I was comforted by the fact that while it is both clean and the “aunties” really love and know the children, I am still a much needed help.

I met another volunteer that will be there the entirety of my time, and made arrangements for me to have a ride to Amani on Tuesday.  Please keep me in your prayers; that this transition goes smoothly and that I don’t get too homesick when all of my teammates go home to their families tomorrow.<3

On Friday, my team went into the villages of the Karamajong people.  The Karamajongs are in poverty beyond belief.  Fathers and many mothers have died from HIV/AIDS.  The mothers that are around take in the children of their friends and family that have also died.  These widows and their multitudes of children live in small huts (many 5’x5’) made of sticks and mud.  Most of the children have no shoes, and the mud that they walk in looks and smells of poop.  We spent a few hours with these people, some talked with the women and others with the kids.  It was a very difficult and exhausting experience.

Saturday, we had the opportunity to visit Katie Davis’ Amazima Ministries.  We saw and took part in the feeding program that I had read so much about on Katie’s blog.  When we first got there, I was disappointed to hear that Katie wouldn’t be able to make it today.  She was what got me started on Uganda; God had used her story to inspire me and bring me here, to this beautiful, poor country.  God, I know that she isn’t why you brought me here.  She very well may have just been the tool that you needed to get me here.  Please help me to not be discouraged that I cannot meet her today.

Three hours later, a bus arrives with none other than Katie Davis in the driver’s seat!  I got to meet her and talk to her about my next few months at Amani.  I was worried at first because my camera battery had died and I wouldn’t get a chance to get a picture with her, but she told me that because I’ll be at Amani, we’ll probably see each other quite often around town.  Thank you, GOD!  I don’t know what you have planned or why you do things the way you do, but thank you for giving me the chance to meet her. 

Sunday we had church.  Church here is such a different experience than in America.  Worship is has so much passion, and if the pastor feels like preaching a little while longer…there goes another hour of the day. Haha, but it was wonderful.

We spent the rest of the day hanging out with our friends at Canaan Children’s Home.  Having stayed at Canaan’s all week, I’ve grown really close to a few kids.  Please keep them in your prayers.  One of my 11 year old little friends is having a hard time with the fact that I’m going to be leaving there tomorrow.  I don’t know his whole story, but he obviously is not used to feeling so much love.  My heart breaks for my new little brother.<3

Tomorrow at 10:00 Ugandan time, I get picked up for my next 2.5 months at Amani Baby Cottage.  Please keep me in your prayers.  Pray that God would give me the energy to give these kids the attention and love that they need.  Pray that God gives me an unquenchable thirst for Him, and with it strengthens me to do all that He has planned.  Pray that God will give me the words and verses to say to whomever I come in contact with; only He knows what people need to hear.  And finally, pray for my transition away from my team this week.  Pray that I never feel homesick, overwhelmed, or discouraged.  I’m tired and miss my family, but I pray that God gives me the love and strength to push past myself in order to live for Him. <3