Whatever you want, Lord

Whatever you want Lord, whatever you want.

I am a selfish, stubborn human being.  I am so sorry Lord for allowing my sinfulness to come in the way of my vision of following your will.  You, oh Lord, are my only hope.  When I begin to let worry and anxiety in, I begin to think that I need to take control.  My sin prevents me from seeing that you are still there; you are still waiting with arms wide open.

Thank you, God, for showing me how selfish I am this week.  My prayers have been bitter and afraid, showing my lacking of trust in You, God.

Thank you for the church.  Thank you for days when we, as Christians, can unite in one body, to hear what You have to say through Your people.  Today, I was reminded of your sovereignty.  I may think at times that you have left me alone in a strange land, but You are always there.  You are always in control.  Just as Jesus told Peter to go fishing and open the mouth of the first fish to find a coin, you not only know what is going to happen, but you make it happen.  You didn’t just know that the coin was going to be in that fish’s mouth, you put it there.

God, you didn’t just know that I was going to go to Uganda, you put me here.  I don’t know how long I’ll be here or how much struggling and learning I’ll do in that time, but I know that you are in control.  I may miss my family to no end, and I may not think that I can get internet signal to do my school work, but you are always in control.  You can and will provide for all of my needs.  From this point on, Lord, I put my trust in You and You alone.  I haven’t been doing that this week.  Instead, I’ve been worrying that things wouldn’t work out or that you won’t be here with me, using me.  I started to think that I must come home early; no matter if you have a plan for me here or not, I just can’t take it – please send me home.  But Lord, today You have brought me peace.  I don’t know at this point whether You’ll send me home early, or will bring back the internet (that has been gone for so many days now), so that I can do my school work when my online classes begin later this month.  But God, I put it in Your hands.  Either one will be difficult, but whatever the direction, I will know that I have lifted it up to You, and you have given me the answer that comes.

God, I love you so much.  I am sorry that I am so weak and sinful.  I thank you for the work that you have been doing in my life.  I thought that I would just come to tell people about You, but instead, You have worked in my life, changing me in so many ways.  Continue to teach me new things every day.  Continue to stretch me; in order to teach me more about You, and to make me more like You.  With every struggle that turns me to You, I grow in my strength and relationship with You.

God, I trust You.  I cannot do this on my own.  I don’t know Your plan, but I trust that no matter what, You will ultimately use me for Your glory.

I love you, Lord Jesus.

Whatever you want. <3